I’m pretty sure that this isn’t such a great thing to be particularly proud of, but as far as being stubborn goes, I’m up there in the leading rankings of high levels of stubbornness present. Anyone else with me on the leader board?
I am a Queen of Stubborn.
Strongly, fiercely independent, combined with a splash of stroppy, mixed together to make a good, strong batch of stubborn.That’s me.
I’m the type of stubborn that refused to get my drivers licence until I was thirty, when I had moved to a different country, with two little children (and preggers with number three) I discovered that walking everywhere was no longer an option. Then I had to learn to drive on the other side of the road. Some may have said ‘that’ll learn me’. And maybe it did. But maybe it didn’t.
How and why I came to be so stubborn is really a story for another day. I don’t have enough chocolate in my house right now, to deal with that. But I am who I am.
Stubbornness ain’t all that bad though. My stubbornness worked in my favour when I was sent from medical specialist to specialist, and came away from all CT scans and MRI scans with nothing abnormal jumping out at us, but finally, after a three year journey I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. There’s a lot to be said for persistence and not settling for less than what you think is right. That’s stubbornness put to good use.
I have to be careful though, not to let this stubborn streak of mine make me miss opportunities that I shouldn’t miss, or not to let this stubborn streak of mine make my heart less malleable than it should be. A soft and tender heart is what I always hope to hold onto.
I’m learning that there are a few things that I can do to help reign in this ‘stubborn’. Because if I’m not careful, sometimes this ‘stubborn’ can stop me from embracing a whole bunch of opportunities and experiences.
I’m learning that just because I may see myself as being x, y or z, I have to also remember that I don’t know what I don’t know. While my filter on who I think I am may be reasonably accurate, its probably not quite as accurate as how close friends would see me, and of how God sees me.
As much as I talked in my last blog post about ‘who do we say God is’, and how that shapes how we outwork our faith, I think we also need to ask the question ‘who do you (God) say I am?’. When we pause to ask that question, and really take on board the answers that come our way, I think we can all be pleasantly surprised. We don’t know what we don’t know, so sometimes we need to ask a lot of questions.
In addition to asking God to reveal more of who He says we are, I’m learning to ask the right questions to the right people around me. Is what I think about x,y,z ok? Does it line up with other things in my life? Allowing others to speak into my life means I have to take the time to take things on board, and to process things if they aren’t what I’d naturally think myself. And for a stubborn chick, this is hard work, but oh so worthwhile. You see, like I said before, we don’t know what we don’t know.
So how do you know you’re listening to the right people? When you’re a person who is pretty strong minded to start with, how do you open your heart and mind to receive good and worthwhile advice and help? I say look at the fruit in other people’s lives. That’s my benchmark. Is the way this person lives, something I’d like to be emulating? Do others respect them and speak highly of them? Do I long to be closer to God because of their influence in my life? If yes – then I know I need to put aside my own stubborn thoughts and opinions, breath deeply and listen intently to whatever it is they have to say on a situation that I may need swaying on.
Proverbs 1:5 talks about the importance of getting advice from others: let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance. Guidance is a good and necessary thing. We are so much better together.
So this is my prayer as one who knows she’s as stubborn as they come: may my heart and mind be steadfast and sure because I know without a doubt who I am in Christ and whose I am, but may that ever be growing. And may I always be looking for Godly wisdom from God himself and from others who love Him. May my heart always be pliable, able to be stretched and ever increasing in capacity. And may I always stop to consider that there’s much I don’t know, and we just don’t know what we don’t know.